Resilience and the Job Search: From Parenting Lessons to Career Survival Skills

Written By Sacha Milazzo-Mercier

A Father’s Lesson in Frustration

As a dad, I'm reminded daily of something I once studied at university—evolutionary psychology. Now I witness it firsthand in my 4-year-old daughter, who is just starting to face the tough transition from the carefree joys of toddlerhood to a world of rules, boundaries, and — perhaps most importantly: frustration.

Teaching her to handle frustration isn’t easy. It goes against every instinct I have to keep her happy. After a long workday, saying “no” to a whining child is the last thing I want to do. But I do it — not to discipline, but to prepare her. Saying “no” is an act of love. It’s about giving her the tools to face disappointment, bounce back, and keep going. It’s about building resilience.

And that, I’ve come to realize, is the exact same skill I see lacking in many job seekers.

What Parenting Teaches Us About the Job Market

In my years of experience working with students and job seekers — especially those aiming for the competitive luxury fashion industry — I’ve seen the same pattern over and over: people start strong. They send applications, prepare for interviews, and dream big. But when the rejections start rolling in, many collapse emotionally. Some stop applying altogether. Others lose confidence and begin to question their worth.

The problem isn’t a lack of talent or effort. It’s often a lack of resilience — the psychological muscle that helps us rebound from setbacks, regulate emotions, and stay in the game.

Why Resilience Matters in Job Searching

Resilience isn’t just a buzzword but one of the strongest predictors of job search success. Research shows that resilient individuals:

• Handle stress better

• Persevere through rejection

• Stay optimistic in uncertain times

• Apply more assertively and consistently

“Resilience not only protects against depression but enhances persistence during setbacks,” say Moorhouse & Caltabiano (2007).

The Impact of Low Resilience

When job seekers don’t have the tools to process frustration, they shut down. Some miss key academic milestones like internships, simply because they gave up after an initial failure. In an emotionally fragile labor market, especially in luxury where competition is brutal, this can derail careers before they even begin.

These traits don’t exist in isolation. For example, resilience fuels self-efficacy, which enhances proactivity — creating a powerful feedback loop.

How to Build Resilience During Unemployment

1. Structured Resilience Programs

France’s AD-Ré Program significantly improved mental health and reduced emotional dysregulation among job seekers (Barraud Froget et al., 2025).

2. Assertive Job-Seeking Training

Teaches applicants how to be proactive with resumes, follow-ups, and interviews. Assertiveness reduces the depressive effects of rejection (Moorhouse & Caltabiano, 2007).

3. Cognitive Reframing

Turning “I failed” into “I learned something valuable” rewires your emotional response to failure.

4. Emotional Labor Support

Programs that address the hidden emotional work of staying resilient — especially in underserved populations — show strong improvements in outcomes (Lu et al., 2022).

Teaching Students to Handle Rejection

Universities have a major role to play in building emotional readiness for the job market:

• Integrating Emotional Intelligence into curriculum improves adaptability and stress management (Pozo-Rico et al., 2015).

• Mock interviews and scenario planning reduce anxiety and normalize setbacks. (Ref. over 10 years of conducting MOCK interviews in different settings)

• Rejection Parties — like those at CSU Monterey Bay — help students reframe job rejection as part of growth, not failure.

“You went for such a competitive industry? Then accept that your best friend might get picked instead of you. I’ve lived it myself — I once competed for an LVMH internship against my two best friends.”

What Job Seekers Can Do — Starting Today

1. Expect frustration and know it’s part of the process.

2. Reflect after every rejection: What went wrong? What did you learn?

3. Revise your materials and try again.

4. Reframe the journey — every step, even failure, is part of becoming better.

5. Reinforce emotional resilience through community, coaching, and structured practices.

Final Thoughts

Resilience is not just a trait. It’s a practice. One you build each time you get back up after falling. Whether it’s your child being told “no” or a student rejected after a job interview, the principle is the same: frustration is the first step toward growth.

We can’t shield people from rejection, but we can equip them to thrive despite it.

To quote Earvin “Magic” Johnson, whose life and career embody resilience:

“I've learned that failure is not the end, but rather an opportunity to learn and grow.”

And that’s the mindset we must instill—in ourselves, our children, and the next generation of professionals navigating an uncertain world.

References

1. Moorhouse, A., & Caltabiano, M. (2007). Resilience and depression among unemployed people. Australian Journal of Career Development, 16(3), 28–36.

2. Duong, M. (2019). Self-efficacy and job search intention: The mediating role of resilience. Journal of Employment Counseling, 56(1), 34–44.

3. Oh, H., & Oh, H. (2022). Career resilience and optimism among youth. Career Development International, 27(4), 560–576.

4. Kuang, K., Shi, W., & Wang, R. (2023). Resilience and emotional regulation in laid-off job seekers. Stress and Health, 39(2), 129–141.

5. McLarnon, M. J. W., & Tarraf, R. C. (2023). Consistency in job-seeking behaviors and resilience. Journal of Applied Psychology, 108(3), 547–562.

6. Barraud Froget, R., et al. (2025). AD-Ré Program impact on unemployed individuals' mental health. Revue Française de Psychologie du Travail et des Organisations, 31(1), 70–84.

7. Lu, Y., et al. (2022). Class-based emotional labor and resilience in job-seeking. Work, Employment and Society, 36(5), 890–908.

8. Dunn, J., & Fallah, F. (2023). Scenario planning to build resilience. Journal of Career Assessment, 31(2), 144–159.

9. Evans, R., & Lundsteen, S. (2017). Positive self-talk and growth mindset. Educational Psychology Review, 29(3), 415–433.

10. Gonzalez, A., et al. (2022). Completing the stress cycle: A practical guide. Health Psychology Review, 16(1), 102–120.

11. Various authors. (2018–2023). Journaling interventions in career coaching. Career Development Quarterly.

12. Pozo-Rico, T., et al. (2015). Emotional intelligence in university training. Teaching and Teacher Education, 49, 142–151.

13. Read, C. (2023). Rejection feedback as growth strategy. HR Zone Case Studies, March issue.

14. CSU Monterey Bay. (2022). “Rejection Party” student engagement initiative. Student Affairs Research Report.